We Spell a Spoken Sound in as Many as 20 Different Ways.

PREPOSTEROUS!

English spelling is sheer memory. A 2-year study at Stanford University determined that over 300 rules would be required to spell correctly, by rule, half of our 17,000 most frequently used words.

"Learning to read (English) is perhaps the greatest effort the human undertakes, and he must do it as a child. " John Steinbeck.

SHORT-A had have guarantee laugh plaid ingenue LONG-A make making playing rain they veil great maelstrom weigh raise straight re plague applique gauge aye matinee seine gaol ballet dossier bouquet

[a] [a-e] [ua] [au] [ai] [i] [a-e] [a] [ay] [ai] [ey] [ei] [ea] [ae] [eigh] [ai-e] [aigh] [e] [a-ue] [ue] [au-e] [aye] [ee] [ei-e] [ao] [et] [er] [uet]

AR car are heart guard sergeant bazaar starve catarrh bizarre AIR chair vary dare aerial scarce millionaire prayer square where their bear BROAD-A father hurrah calm barrage ensemble detente pas lingerie eclat

[ar] [are] [ear] [uar] [er] [aar] [ar-e] [arrh] [arre] [air] [ar] [are] [aer] [ar-e] [aire] [ayer] [uare] [ere] [eir] [ear] [a] [ah] [al] [a-e] [e] [e-e] [as] [i] [at]

SHORT-E met ledge head many said says friend guest cheque burial aesthetic heifer jeopardy foetid cleanse LONG-EE keep these me people leave field believe deceit deceive ravine ski cheese league antique key aeon amoeba mosquito

[e] [e-e] [ea] [a] [ai] [ay] [ie] [ue] [e-ue] [u] [ae] [ei] [eo] [oe] [ea-e] [ee] [e-e] [e] [eo] [ea-e] [ie] [ie-e] [ei] [ei-e] [i-e] [i] [ee-e] [ea-ue] [i-ue] [ey] [ae] [oe] [ui]

SHORT-I pin lynch pretty give been mischief busy guild women minute counterfeit sieve bisque apocalypse LONG-I ties like find trying highly height eye buy type guile aisle dye guiding stein eying island diamond maestro bayou aye coyote

[i] [y] [e] [i-e] [ee] [ie] [u] [ui] [o] [u-e] [ei] [ie-e] [i-ue] [y-e] [ie] [i-e] [i] [y] [igh] [eigh] [eye] [uy] [y-e] [ui-e] [ai-e] [ye] [ui] [ie] [ey] [is] [ia] [ae] [ay] [aye] [oy]

SHORT-O hot swap laurel honor knowledge catalogue yacht bureaucracy LONG-O goes bone roll glowing boat soul dough cantaloupe brooch chauffeur sewing beaus depots owe mauve yeoman rogue yolk cologne auto

[o] [a] [au] [ho] [ow] [o-ue] [ach] [eau] [oe] [o-e] [o] [ow] [oa] [ou] [ough] [ou-e] [oo] [au] [ew] [eau] [ot] [owe] [au-e] [eo] [o-ue] [ol] [og-e] [au]

SHORT-U cut love other young does judge blood tongue brusque humble LONG-U hue use unit few view beauty nuisance feud adieu deuce vacuum queue ewe debut you yule fugue

[u] [o-e] [o] [ou] [oe] [u-e] [oo] [o-ue] [u-ue] [hu] [ue] [u-e] [u] [ew] [iew] [eau] [ui] [eu] [ieu] [eu-e] [uu] [ueue] [ewe] [ut] [you] [yu-e] [u-ue]

LONG-OO moon whom soup truly two move through rule glue cartouche crew fruit shoe loose sleuth manoeuvre bruise buoy deuce jiujitsu rendezvous silhouette coup pooh SHORT-OO pull good wolf should bouillon

[oo] [o] [ou] [u] [wo] [o-e] [ough] [u-e] [ue] [ou-e] [ew] [ui] [oe] [oo-e] [eu] [oeu] [ui-e] [uo] [eu-e] [iu] [ous] [hou] [oup] [ooh] [u] [oo] [o] [ou] [oui]

UR jury your sure poor pleurisy fluoresce OU cloud house hour OW terminal now bowing bough landau AU because thought talk water taught cloth broad exhaust

[ur] [our] [ure] [oor] [eur] [uor] [ou] [ou-e] [hou] [ow] [ow] [ough] [au] [au-e] [ough] [al] [a] [augh] [o] [oa] [hau]

AW terminal saw clawing OI point boy noise gargoyle turquoise OR for store court war door board liquor drawer torque reservoir dinosaur

[aw] [aw] [oi] [oy] [oi-e] [oy-e] [uoi-e] [or] [ore] [our] [ar] [oor] [oar] [uor] [awer] [or-e] [oir] [aur]

ER terminal err erred serve bird stirring stirred squirm furnish burr curve blurred yearn hearse world worse journey scourge connoisseur myrtle myrrh ogre liar nature lacquer freer restaurant hemmorrhage

[er] [err] [erre] [er-e] [ir] [irr] [irre] [uir] [ur] [urr] [ur-e] [urre] [ear] [ear-e] [or] [or-e] [our] [our-e] [eur] [yr] yrrh] [re] [ar] [ure] [uer] [r] [au] [orrh]

Schwa-a about nuisance mountain parliament Schwa-e mitten license mischievous Schwa-i easily engine vehicle Schwa-o gallop luncheon region Schwa-u circus fashion welcome porpoise advantageous Schwee, 1/2 ee happy belong champion

[a] [a-e] [ai] [ia] [e] [e-e] [ie] [i] [i-e] [hi] [o] [eo] [io] [u] [io] [u-e] [oi-e] [eou] [y] [e] [i]

B bat rubber cupboard hautboy C can account lack D did called would add F for muffin graphic half tough often sapphire G get egg ghost guard vague

[b] [bb] [pb] [tb] [c] [cc] [ck] [d] [ed] [ld] [dd] [f] [ff] [ph] [lf] [gh] [ft] [pph] [g] [gg] [gh] [gu] [gue]

H hat who J just magic bridge soldier education region adjust gorgeous grandeur exaggerate large K kit back chemistry talk lacquer biscuit khaki chukka saccharine liquor clique

[h] [wh] [j] [g] [dge] [di] [d] [gi] [dj] [geo] [de] [gg] [ge] [k] [ck] [ch] [lk] [cqu] [cu] [kh] [kk] [cch] [qu] [que]

L lip tall people island kiln muscle M met summer column palm lamb phlegm N net knock dinner gnat pneumatic handsome P pat happy hiccough naphtha

[l] [ll] [le] [sl] [ln] [cle] [m] [mm] [mn] [lm] [mb] [gm] [n] [kn] [nn] [pn] [gn] [nd] [p] [pp] [gh] [ph]

R run write are colonel rhyme corps catarrh mortgage velours S sets city lesson scene listen sword waltz psychic worsted isthmus convalesce fence house

[r] [wr] [re] [l] [rh] [rps] [rrh] [rt] [rs] [s] [c] [ss] [sc] [st] [sw] [z] [ps] [rs] [sth] [sce] [ce] [se]

T ten button asked two debt receipt indict yacht thyme bought veldt V voice of give halve savvy W wet bivouac X voiced exam X unvoiced tax

[t] [tt] [ed] [tw] [bt] [pt] [ct] [cht] [th] [ght] [dt] [v] [f] [ve] [lve] [vv] [w] [ou] (gz) [x] (ks) [x]

Y (consonant) yet beyond Y (vowel) happy Z zebra scissor puzzle raise business busy raspberry xylophone asthma CH church structure match question righteous niche cello

[y] [y] [y] [z] [ss] [zz] [se] [si] [s] [sp] [x] [sth] [ch] [t] [tch] [ti] [teo] [che] [c]

NG ring NK sink SH shop motion pension special mission issue sure machine appreciate conscience ocean negotiate crescendo fuchsia schist nauseous mustache luxury anxious

[ng] [nk] [sh] [ti] [si] [ci] [ssi] [ss] [s] [ch] [c] [sci] [ce] [t] [sc] [chsi] [schh] [seo] [che] [x] [xio]

TH voiced this bathe TH unvoiced thing WH when ZH azure vision pleasure regime garage loggia rescission brazier equation jabot

[th] [the] [th] [wh] [z] [s] [s] [g] [ge] [gg] [ssi] [si] [ti] [j]

Enuf is enuf. We don't need to invent 14 spellings per sound.

We don't spell fish

ghoti

But half our spellings are equally whimsical and preposterious.

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